We are told that sex and love are part of the same instinct; I disagree. Love is a pleasant sensation of comfort we feel when we’re close to a special person. LIVRO EM DESTAQUE. DR. FLÁVIO NO YOUTUBE. Assine o FEED do canal do Dr. Flávio no Youtube e mantenha-se atualizado conforme novos vídeos são. As for his theoretic work, in he presented studies about sex therapy; his first and critically acclaimed book, published in , was about sex, love, and.

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His work, devoid of quotes and bibliographical quotes, has a clear, straightforward writing style, while it dwells on the most complex issues of human behavior— not dissimilar to renowned Erich Fromm, for instance.

If people were asked if they ever felt fear when at particularly happy moments of their lives, of course most of them would say no. The truth, however, is that the fear of happiness seems to be universal, and I have never met anyone who did not feel it to some extent. His practice, however, remains his main activity.

When two people enjoy how the other acts, laughs and thinks, they connect fairly fast; in this regard, friendship is similar to love. Nobody can be sure that their efforts, whether in the emotional, professional or social arena, will be successful.

On Being Alone…

He has not affiliated himself to any specific school of psychological thought, nor has he refused any particular influences, being open to learning from various sources. The romantic concept of one person as a solution that will bring us happiness is destined to disappear. Its rights have been sold to Spanish speaking countries, as well to the Middle East. Nobody likes to admit they feel envy, much less of someone who is close to them.

fear | Dr. Flávio Gikovate

Good romantic relationships are great, but they are actually very similar to being single, inasmuch as they bring growth and there are no impositions. Aggressive reactions are not necessarily cruel: Yes, because it means one has accepted reality.


What I propose is radically inverting the way we think about it. At any other time, they react explosively and their outbursts can be scary; maybe those who are afraid of them are the ones responsible for calling out-of-control people strong, because they always submit to their will. Currently, he hosts a weekly talk show at the most prestigious radio network in Brazil. I am always surprised when I hear people repeat, with utter conviction, well-known sentences that are regarded as truth, even though not much thought is given to them.

They make a lot of noise, shout, are dramatic and even threaten violence. Children experience a major developmental leap in their second year: But exactly because some couples do live happily together, we should do our best to be a part of this exclusive club. gikovafe

Sought after lecturer, he travels all over Brazil to attend conferences and meetings. It would probably be great to be able to control the outcome of important events. A strong one will be brave enough, because they know they can handle setbacks. In solitude, people are able to realize that harmony and peace can only be found in themselves.

But exactly because some couples do live happily together, we should do our best to be a part of this exclusive club. I have been describing love as the feeling we have for a special person next to whom we feel peace, harmony and comfort. After all, if we acknowledge that each brain is unique, and the way one person thinks is in not a frame of reference to understand others, we gikvate that we do not need to bend someone else to our standards.

However, this pursuit of clarity has gikovage his content, on occasion, to be dismissed as simplistic. A french editor is also currently negotiating the rights.

Books in english

December is a month unlike the others. Why do we fall in love with a specific person? Romantic love assumes that people are a fraction who must find their other half to be complete. I have been writing about the fear of happiness since the late s, when an odd, unexpected idea came to my mind: It has been translated to English, as well, and has been published in Italy already.


It creates a kind of conditioned response, so that when people achieve a sort of harmony and well-being similar to what they had experienced in utero— and nothing feels more like that than the comfort and closeness that come from a good romantic relationship—they immediately feel threatened, as if waiting flavip tragedy to strike.

I suddenly realized that when people fall in love they start living in a constant state of alert—of panic, even—as if they expected a tragedy to befall them at any moment. When it happens, I believe it is because the word has several meanings and evokes different emotions for different fpavio, according to their understanding of it.

Change requires determination and discipline; relinquishing established habits is a difficult process that brings pain and even withdrawal symptoms. I noticed that people in love seemed to be unable to eat or sleep and became obsessed with their relationship, compulsively wondering what was going on with their beloved, and wanting to know, at every moment, if their partner still wanted to be with them.

For instance, his most recent book — Evil, Good and Beyond has sold 24, copies in 24 months, and is still going strong, sales-wise. The fear of happiness is directly related to our destructive tendencies. People are beginning to understand that they even if they feel like a fraction of a person, they are whole — just like their partner, who is not a knight in shining armor or a savior, but a travel companion.